So What Do You Do When……

Your son or daughter tells you that they do not want to play lacrosse this season?

For many purists of the game, old time lacrosse types, you know the ones that start by saying “back when I played….” the above comment might make them question the paternity possibilities of this child. I mean, how could someone of my genes, someone who was born to play lacrosse just like I did, say that he (or she) does not want to play the game that I love so much……I mean that they love so much?

Well the reality is that most kids just want to be kids and play; play anything. It might be lacrosse today, it might be basketball out on the street tomorrow, it might be in the backyard the next. It is almost forbidden that a child would think of playing two sports in the same season. Baseball, Football, Soccer and Lacrosse cannot co-exist in the same sentence anymore so every child has to make a choice. And those choices can change with a young person on a daily basis.

I recall when my son (now 12) was 7 years old. It was to be his first season of tyke lacrosse. He came to me shortly before signup, I think I was polishing my old Minto Cup ring (you know like most dads do), so proud that the season is approaching once again and my boy was playing.

He told me that he did not want to play this season, that he wanted to skateboard like Tony Hawk……………………..well I’m pleased to say that my wife revived me rather quickly and there was only a little permanent damage done.

My immediate reaction was to ask him how he could be so stupid, what was he thinking, etc, etc. After speaking to my wife (the sane one), we both decided to let him do his thing. While it was killing me inside, I did have enough frame of mind to know that if I made him play, he would quit soon enough anyway. To make things very interesting, 2-3 weeks into the summer his two skateboarding buddies both went to their grandma’s for the summer leaving my son “bored”. Deep breath, deep breath!

Needless to say, he realized that he made a mistake not playing something. The following year we insisted that he was doing something, and he chose lacrosse again. Now it was time to explain to him why he would not be on the Tyke 1 team (you cannot take a year off and still be that good).

It really took some time (a full year) but he now understands that if he wants to be a good lacrosse player, he needs to stick to it and work hard. Whenever he gets that look about going to practice, I remind him that he can skateboard again if he wants. 🙂

I know the day will come when he tells me that he does not want to play lacrosse anymore. At that point I will be sure that he really does not want to play. But for now, he’s learned his own lesson (somewhat the hard way) and is enjoying the game more than ever.



  1. Are you trying to explain or justify something here? Kids as well get tired of the politics that happen in lacrosse and just say enough and move on or quit!!

  2. I’m not explaining or justifying anything. It was a story of kids and their choices. (my son in particular).

    I do agree that kids can get tired of politics too, but not at 7 years old. At that age, someone else decides its politics.

  3. I agree with you that they don’t see the problems at 7 but they sure do at 11 and 12 even if we as parents try to shelter them from it..

    I ask myself do numbers tell us what is happening or are we ignorant enough to ignore the fact that these kids are trying to tell us something!!! Did we wait to long to listen to the 7 and 8 year olds?

  4. I have one more question for everyone out there:

    Why does the personal feeling a coach has against the parent of the child have to affect the child???

    I believe if this did not happen we could rid ourselves of some of these politics that we all talk about!!!

  5. Marksy, what have you done to Moses…..

    Aaaannnyyy way, back to the subject. I have a daughter would should be starting her 5th year of lacrosse, but has since told me she didn’t want to “sweat” this year. How’s that for a kick in the teeth, maternity tests to follow if she doesn’t change her mind by next season….

  6. LOL – Come on people. Mark, if my kid came to me and said he didn’t want to play this year I’d have to hunt you down because I would have to say it was his Sat. morning training that drove him to it!! LOL. He couldn’t possibly have grown out of it and made up his own mind that he would maybe like to try his hand at something else. Come on.. Is there such a thing as a summer without lax. I think not!

    As for alterego67, ouch!

  7. I dread that ever happening to me and admittedly, I would not likely be as diplomatic as Marksy… I will admit that I LIKE watching my kid play as much or more than he enjoys playing… I don’t know what I’d do with the free time… maybe talk to my wife 🙂

  8. Ouch! Talk to your wife? Does she play lacrosse? I think our ladies contact league needs to recruit her to play. I bet she has lots of pent up energy to take onto the floor! LOL!!

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